I’m sitting here at my desk, just following the DAI monthly board meeting, and reading my friend Mick’s excellent blog. I created my blog, Jan’s Journey, over a year ago and this is my first blog. I hope the first of many because I feel I have a lot to talk about.
Five weeks ago I found it was time to have my Chipug, Feebee, put to sleep. Feebee was 22 years old, the only dog my vet had over 20 years old. It was heart breaking, as you can imagine. Feebee had been diabetic for years, receiving twice daily insulin shots. She was now deaf, blind, and had early signs of dementia. But now she also had cancer. Feebee no longer had quality of life. She slept, ate, used the potty, and when awake continuously licked the cancerous lesions on her leg.
I planned ahead and gave myself a final week with her, I had to have a chance to say goodbye my way. I spoiled her, loved on her, massaged her, but mostly I talked to her about how much she meant to me and reminisced about our years together.
When the day suddenly arrived I did not want to wake up or get out of bed, but I forced myself to because the way I saw it was this was my final gift to someone who meant the world to me. Feebee went to sleep very peacefully, she did not fight, she was ready to go to whatever the next phase is after earth.
I’m sitting at my IPAD with a picture of the new puppy, Willow, who will be joining our family in four short weeks. Just behind the IPAD, on my desk, sits the framed picture of Feebee.
I now know that a person is capable of feeling sadness and happiness at the same time, I just plan to sit and be still with it.